Political Predictions for 2006

The Democrats

The Democratic Party will split into two warring camps wrestling for control as we creep towards 2008: the “fighting democrat” led by General Wesley Clark and the “moderate democrat” led by Senator Hillary Clinton. Hopefully it will resolve itself by 2008 with a Clinton/Clark or Clark/Clinton ticket. The sad part about all of this is that the split will probably be one of style rather than substance.

The Republicans

The Republican Party will fall into numerous competing factions, each gunning for 2008 as Bush’s lame duck status sets in a year early due to harsh poll numbers. Most of this will go unreported in the mainstream press due to the party’s impressive control of the media. Look for it buried on page 26 of the paper after that funny story about how the monkey saved the baby and that game of suduku you didn’t finish.

You

Bush will say something so ridiculous and non-sensical that you’ll laugh hysterically until a little tear forms in the corner of your eye as you realize there’s still three more years of this left to suffer through.